Tiger Talk Radio
I got in my car after this morning's Big XII alumni softball tournament (Mizzou went out in 2 games), turned on the radio, and tuned it to the local NPR station just in time to hear: "M-I-Z!" "Z-O-U!" After checking my surroundings to make sure that the local cacti hadn't been replaced by a row of six ionic columns, I heard an announcer's voice say, "Live from Jesse Auditorium, it's Michael Feldman's Whad'ya Know?!!!!" I'm not usually a big fan of Whad'ya Know; I'm more of a Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me kinda girl. But I stuck around for a bit to hear some of Feldman's intro monologue, which included the necessary jabs at the illustrious Laurie family ("We're coming to you live from Page Auditorium! I mean, Jesse Auditorium."), Columbia's geography ("Strategically located to keep Kansas City and St. Louis at arm's length."), Mayor Darwin Hindman's love of his bike ("In Columbia, the mayor is a known pedalphile.") and — of course — Kansas ("It was in Missouri when Dorothy said, 'Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore,' and Toto replied, 'Thank God!'"). It seems the punch lines never change.

Here, There and Everywhere
I don't know when I'm going to be able to hear a report about the Virginia Tech massacre without crying. When I first heard the news Monday morning I never expected I would feel such a connection to this event. Analyses of the tragedy often include that banal phrase, "It could happen anywhere." But when I hear the reports, it's not anywhere. It's Mizzou. When they talk of the dorm where the first shootings occured, I picture the third floor of McDavid. When they mention the engineering classrooms, it's Engineering Building West, a building that hosted several of my courses, that I see. And the spontaneous candlelight vigils? I envision them at Speaker's Circle and the Quad. It doesn't matter how many times I see pictures of VT students or graphics showing the school's campus layout; it hits closer than that. My mind fills the gaps between reporters' words with my school, my RAs, my friends. This feels personal.

Fear itself
I've been meaning to post for months about my reaction to the movie Jesus Camp. I have many thoughts that have become a bit muddled as the weeks since viewing it have passsed. But there's one image that sticks out in my mind. It is of one of the kids attending the camp dressed in a t-shirt displaying a rip-off of the the Fear Factor logo. The manipulated logo reads "Faith Factor." To me, this symbolizes the crux of the film: To these children faith and fear are interchangeable. Their faith in God is one that is born out of fear. And that saddens me, because the God I know and the God I trust does not rely on fear. While fear is great motivation, it tends to breed further fear. Watch both these clips:





JFK's famous line, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" is true, and even more so when considering the results of actions of fear-based faith.

About a week ago I had a dream that really gave me insight to the way I'm afraid I've been acting lately. I dreamt that I arrived in London, and it was wonderful all over again, and I met some real fun people, and we sat outside at a lovely cafe discussing profound things. And then after being there for two whole days, I decided to give Megan a call to let her know I was in town. Her response was something along the lines of, "Oh, I was wondering when you'd let me know you were coming." I don't think I've ever woken up from a dream feeling so guilty. Two whole days of being in her city and I didn't even have the decency to let one of my best friends know I was on my way to visit her. What's worse is that I'm afriad that's indicative of how I've been in relation to my friends lately. Appologies to dreamland Megan, to all of the friends whose emails I've left unanswered and to the inhabitants of blogland who have seen a drop-off in my posting.

What I've Been Doing
Putting in 25+ hours of overtime during deadline.

What I've Been Listening To
Wincing the Night Away by the Shins, Inside In / Inside Out by The Kooks, and whatever Lilly Allen comes on Virgin Radio, NPR or her website.

What I've Been Eating
Gelato. Lot's of gelato. And brie on crackers. Plenty of brie.

What I've Been Thinking
How am I going to fit the world into three months?!?!?

What I've Been Reading
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards, An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963 by Robert Dallek, the stack of magazines i just can't seem to keep up with.

What [Else] I've Been Dreaming
Something about Lance Armstrong's connection to steroids.

What I've Been Watching
Suns games, both live and on tv.

What I've Been Predicting
If Barack gets the Democratic nomination in '08, there will be talk of Arizona governor Janet Napolitano as his running mate. Think about it: a female Democrat who handily won reelection in a mostly red state because the Republicans basically declined to give her much competition. Add to the mix the fact that she governs a border state, has recently visited Iraq and Afghanistan and is currently chairing the National Governors Association. Total Veep material, yeah?

What I've Been Plugging
Personalized Google homepage. If I thought Gmail and Google's calendar service was fantastic, I'm blown away by the simplicity and style of the personal Google page. Yay for fun technolgy!