Thinking about getting back in the blogging saddle

It sure has been a while. Contemplating a return. Maybe.

The results are in: I have a personality

During my interview process for my new job, I had to go through a battery of personality tests, and I recently got the results. Apparently I am high in the "conscientiousness" factor. Also, I:

+ am a perfectionist
+ play by the rules
+ benefit from structure
+ can easily get consumed by details, tend to over-analyze issues
+ am easily rattled by rejection, but will respond well to critiques
+ often ask "how?"
+ am afraid of confrontation, and thus can give in too easily or can not make my own needs known
+ am very loyal

I was amazed at how spot on these results were, and I would be interested to see if anything would change, were I to take the test again in 3 years. A lot of these characteristics I could have probably told you about myself, but somehow this makes them feel "official". Kinda like a diagnosis. All I need now is a prescription to go along. "To treat your fear of confrontation, I'll have you take two deep breaths per conflict. And be sure to stock up on assertive supplements."

I guess that's what therapy's for, right?

Before and After, Round 2

Yeah, this one went through a lot of manipulation. The result isn't your everyday picture, and you certainly wouldn't use it for just anything. But I like it. I was going for a superhero-type look, so I figured the over-the-top contrast, color and funky full-body halo effect would fit.




Original


Updated

Freezing Time

This is just simply awesome. Thanks to Matt for sharing. You can read more about how they did it here.

Will Bark for Food

Meet Amos, who enjoys eating the sticky notes containing my daily to-do lists that I leave littered around the house. We've been house-mates for two and a half weeks now. I'm almost used to his farting, and the 6:30am wake-up calls to whip him up something yummy in the kitchen. Ah, the joys of living with a guy. Fortunately his family returns next week. While his silly face gives me a good laugh, I don't think I'll miss the farts.

Digital SLResearch
I'm probably putting way more thought into my search for a good digital SLR camera than I need to. Over-analyzing as I am prone to do, I just can't seem to make up my mind. So I thought I'd see if any of you have any insight. I've narrowed my search down to the Canon Rebel XT and the Nikon D40 (or maybe the D40x with 10 megapixels instead of 6?). Any of you have any personal experiences with these cameras? I've been really pleased with my Canon point and shoot, and the SLR uses the same memory card. But I test-drove the Nikon this weekend and was really impressed with it. Since this is my first SLR of my own, I want to make sure that it's a good base camera that I can build on, without being way over my novice head. Any insight you might have would be much appreciated.

Spamalot
Favorite item of spam that made it past the Yahoo! Mail filters:

Sender: Stephana E. Lutz
Subject: Try a homeless park janitor who hasn't eaten in three days.

I need to know: is this dating advice or a dining tip?

Go IntroDooce Yourself*
The Chinese may have proclaimed 2006 as the Year of the Dog, but I will remember it as the Year of the Dooce. For those of you unfamiliar with Heather B. Armstrong, well, where do you get your daily dose of dry, hyperbolic humor? She cracks me up with her wit and outlook on life as a wife, mother, dog owner and recovering Mormon. And she designs pretty mastheads and takes amazing pictures. I believe we could be great friends. She's the type of person you talk about boobs and farts with while drinking alcoholic coffees before moving on to the lighter topics of global warming and the effect depression has on families. If you need an overview, let me help:

+ Evolution of the Mormon Cusser
+ Drunken Underpants Remodeling Again
+ Side Effects May Include Miscommunication
+ Having Dated Walking Red Flags
+ Even More Important Than a Pop Tart

Please tell me you laughed at least once while reading those.

*Megan was the one who introdooced me.

Don't Cry For Me, Arizona
So I finally gave in and tried that site that tells you who your celebrity lookalikes are, and the only one they gave me – the ONLY one! – was Eva Perón. But it wasn't a smokin' hot Madonna-esque picture they paired me with. It was a frumpy old woman version of Evita. I blame it on not having a decent picture of myself since I am always behind the camera. Thus, I am now soliciting your help in locating a suitable ( = smokin' hot) picture of me looking straight at the camera that will prove that I do indeed look like Reese Witherspoon, Laura Linney and Janel Moloney, or at least not an alleged fascist. Seriously, this is kinda depressing.

UPDATE
So apparently I didn't understand how this thing worked. I thought they were going to show me a nice collage like the ones people have posted on their blogs. So, going back through the process, I have discovered that it's not just that I look like an aging frump of a woman. I also resemble a Japanese animé director, Alan Alda and Moby, among other less-than-attractive men. Sharon Stone is the only redeeming face on this collage, and she's the bottom of the list. This thing is full of crap. And yet, I'm going to keep on trying pictures until I get the matches I deserve, of course.

Suggest Your Own Hedline Here
I stopped by the post office after work today to ship a package, and the guy in line in front of me looked familiar. I don't know many people outside of work around that part of town, and I couldn't quite place him. He was looking at me like he recognized me as well, so I said, "You know, you look a little familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" He replied, "Yeah, I was thinking that too. Maybe from the clinic?" And this was the trajectory of my thoughts: Clinic...clinic...clinic...? Oh! The doctor's office! Oh! He was the doc who saw me while mine was out on maternity leave. Oh. My. God. The last time he saw me I was naked under a paper gown and he was looking up my vajayjay. I promptly turned red and probably remained that way for the 15 minutes I was stuck in line next to him. I don't think I've ever taken so long and done such a thorough job filling out the customs shipping form.

More Funny Sentences in my Voicemail
11.15.06 8:21 p.m.
"Hi! This is [CENSORED]. You may remember me from such appearances as 'That Guy You Knew in College' or 'That Guy Who Used to Return Your Phone Calls and Emails Promptly.'"

Why I Might Need a New Phone Sooner Rather Than Later
Or, Funny Sentences in My Voicemail
Lately my phone has not been notifying me when I receive a voicemail, so tonight I spent 15 minutes listening to old messages.

10.19 9:30 p.m.
Hi! It's [CENSORED]. I had a TiVo emergency and I missed Grey's because it didn't record it! I don't know what happened; it's a mess! So I need the rundown from you. So if you get this, it's 10:30 where I am right now, which means 9:30 where you are, or maybe it's 10:30 now. I always lose track of what our time difference is. But, um, if you get this tonight or anytime tomorrow whenever, just give me a call I need a little synopsis because I missed it! And they're not running it again any time soon. So boo on that! Anyway you will be my rescue.

11.6 6:06 p.m.
Jagshemash! This is Borat! No actually, it's [CENSORED] but that's my best Borat impression. God that was such a funny movie! Anyway, I'm on my way to a story. I'm running like a wild chicken today. This is the life of a small town newspaper reporter. This morning for a style story...Then I came to work and had to do calls...had a meeting, and then I was a night reporter and so I got sent to cover a fire... And now I have to go to a meeting...And then I have to go...And then I have to go back...and get everything else in line for election night...It's just nuts. I'm going crayzay! But anyway. This is going to be a really long message. Sorry. Anyway...Talk to you later! Bye!

11.6 7:10 p.m.
Haha! Holy whale's balls! This is like an intense game of phone tag all in like the past 24 hours. It's kinda like intense McGee...I've got old man ears recently and my phone was also kinda like "wah wah wah" kinda like Peanuts.

11.7 8:24 p.m.
Why hello! It's [CENSORED]...I haven't had access to my email so I feel like I'm in the Meideval Times...Oh! And your state is one of the reasons why I was not completely discouraged after the elections yesterday because if I remember correctly Arizona was the only state that had a same-sex marriage ban on the ballot that didn't pass...Anywho, I'll quit yabbering and Talk to you later. MWAH! Bye!

11.7 10:03 p.m.
Hey! It's [CENSORED]. We're having bad luck on the whole getting a hold of each other thing this week...

Poetry Spam
Or, Funny Sentences in My Bulk Mail Folder
Normally I hate email spam (who doesn't, really?). But lately I've been noticing the poetic qualities of some of the subjects. I started collecting a few of my favorites and have compiled a few into works worthy of the next FARC Spotlight or Artisan poetry slam. Each line, including the titles, is a different spam subject.

victimize vaguely
Within reach of the prerogative of puzzled doubt no gold itself was low
largely barbarous you increased the gallery. You a democrat back
They're Kingdoms with an observation chair.
should have balls, receptions, banquets that rigmarole
stripped of Terminus itself, like that his lordship a Sector Wienis
the chance would be death. Three weeks; ago, before him what we lost

science without orders
ethical promises relations miseries
But go on detour attune
in listen of fanaticism marksmanship
No plan of satisfaction in this discuss the faint, emphasis
Spirit? We're protecting forces as much; alive:
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!

that of the standards of steel.
I hope you threw his voice was much alive.
crimes of a night before We have before his feet.
criminal. I see, more than one

transfer housewife
Not finish or unversed virginals
Is turnon on ignominious
dishwasher frank
ordinary light at their way I see he smiled to allow
private plans, and he observed and you are
injudicious yes, and circumstances; were busily being shot and filming

penance nonexistent
land with us in wrought iron the Fall: of the establishment of
their daring. It weakens ever be; escorted back to catch
and for cropping. Its the Emperor. What I pass the power,
seemed open for the Tribes are under guard
in his mouth knowledge the habit. He was so much time.
spoke, only never given in order your treasonable statements Mr. A
bulge at court for yourself explained: it wouldn't have no hearing
and that you heard that gives us nothing but that rules the
section of the beginning simple and then SELDON lifted then: stopped.

Totally beats subjects like "Re: ho test" and "We have VfAGRA 4 u".

Tree hugger
Today I took my lunch break sitting in a tree and reading a book. This made me inexplicably happy.

Keepin' it Real
My friend Matt managed to upset the entire Jon Bon Jovi fan club earlier this week when he posted on his personal blog a not-so-favorable anecdote about his recent encounter with/photography assignment of Mr. Jon. And as interesting as the dynamics of the ensuing response were, I think you, my many journalistically minded readers, would find Matt's subsequent post about the impact his photojournalism has had in Katrina-hit Houma, La., more interesting and definitely inspiring. Keep up the good work, Matt.

Double-take
Is it really September? Really?

WTFat?
Everyone warns you about the Freshman 15, but no one warns you about Desk Job Dozen. I've just about worked mine off, though. Gym memberships are good for something.

Broken Record
So every once in a while I latch onto an album. Current such album: KT Tunstall's Eye To The Telescope. Totally diggin' it.

Just Wondering...
What do you know about bipolar? I'm reading up. Email me privately. Cheers.

Roll Call
Just wondering, who are you? If you feel like it, leave a little note in the comments. I'm curious.

That's all. You mean you thought this was going to be an actual post? Tough.

In honor of National Underwear Day...
This weekend I spent $100 at Victoria's Secret, and all I came out with were six pairs of their cheapest underwear and two of their cheaper bras. And one of the pairs of undies was free! AND I got $10 off one of the bras! I understand paying for quality but spending $30 on three pairs of panties* just seems frivilous to me. (I went for the 5 for $25 deal.) I can get my hair cut for $30, and a hell of a lot more people see my hair than my underwear (I get more compliments, too). So I returned one of the bras and bought a cute pair of gaucho capris at Ann Taylor Loft, which were marked from $40+ down to $19. See this—this is why I could never really make it in Snottsdale.

*And that's the deal! Individual pairs of knickers were upwards of $12.50! Ridiculous!!!

If you weren't able to watch these earlier this weekend, the bug has been fixed (I hope!). I've found YouTube to be a greater challenge to work with than it's talked up to be to upload videos. Has anyone else found this?

Hello, Cute
Just you wait until I have my own kids. This blog will be overrun with pictures of edible baby feet and videos of cuddly moments.


Viviane, the young virtuoso.


"Puppy. Hi." I think Viviane has been attending puppy training classes, too. Note that she rolls Bandit's toy rather than throwing it, and she says, "Roll" right before she does it, too. This is because she's been getting in trouble for throwing things. (Sorry about the sound being off. I think something got slightly corrupted when I uploaded the video, because it's not like that on my computer.)


My poor cell phone will never be the same again. This is totally a testament to how many mannerisms little kids pick up from their parents. Note the hands-free talking. And speaking about throwing things, I edited out the part where she chucks the cell at the coffee table. For clarification's sake: "Honey" is grandma's name.

Selling out
I'm drinking a tall mocha from Starbucks this morning. And I'm really liking it. I'm sorry, little indie coffee shops that I love so much!

Sunset and Soon Forgotten
Or, I've been listening to my "Sources Say: Good Songs From Good Friends" playlist for too long

I'm sick of missing my friends. But I'm mostly sick of feeling like I'm the only one who hasn't moved on. Growing up is a bitch.

Comic Relief
Or, I'm sorry, Jana, I just couldn't hold it in much longer

So Jana's boyfriend's last name is Caulk, poor guy. But he's a big boy (Caulk) and can handle himself. (I know, too easy). The people you should feel sorry for, though, are the two Polish sisters who married his brothers. (Yeah not exactly normal. Sometimes I worry about Jana.) Their names -- no joke -- are Anita Maya and Iwona (pronounced "Ivana"). Anita Maya Caulk and Iwona Caulk. Can you imagine being in the doctor's office when either of them is called back? Or being the teacher who has to call the mother to tell her that her little Caulk is acting up in class? And Megan was worried about not being able to name her children Jaun Tidd, Anna Mae Tidd, Mel Tidd, etc.