Why I Might Need a New Phone Sooner Rather Than Later
Or, Funny Sentences in My Voicemail
Lately my phone has not been notifying me when I receive a voicemail, so tonight I spent 15 minutes listening to old messages.

10.19 9:30 p.m.
Hi! It's [CENSORED]. I had a TiVo emergency and I missed Grey's because it didn't record it! I don't know what happened; it's a mess! So I need the rundown from you. So if you get this, it's 10:30 where I am right now, which means 9:30 where you are, or maybe it's 10:30 now. I always lose track of what our time difference is. But, um, if you get this tonight or anytime tomorrow whenever, just give me a call I need a little synopsis because I missed it! And they're not running it again any time soon. So boo on that! Anyway you will be my rescue.

11.6 6:06 p.m.
Jagshemash! This is Borat! No actually, it's [CENSORED] but that's my best Borat impression. God that was such a funny movie! Anyway, I'm on my way to a story. I'm running like a wild chicken today. This is the life of a small town newspaper reporter. This morning for a style story...Then I came to work and had to do calls...had a meeting, and then I was a night reporter and so I got sent to cover a fire... And now I have to go to a meeting...And then I have to go...And then I have to go back...and get everything else in line for election night...It's just nuts. I'm going crayzay! But anyway. This is going to be a really long message. Sorry. Anyway...Talk to you later! Bye!

11.6 7:10 p.m.
Haha! Holy whale's balls! This is like an intense game of phone tag all in like the past 24 hours. It's kinda like intense McGee...I've got old man ears recently and my phone was also kinda like "wah wah wah" kinda like Peanuts.

11.7 8:24 p.m.
Why hello! It's [CENSORED]...I haven't had access to my email so I feel like I'm in the Meideval Times...Oh! And your state is one of the reasons why I was not completely discouraged after the elections yesterday because if I remember correctly Arizona was the only state that had a same-sex marriage ban on the ballot that didn't pass...Anywho, I'll quit yabbering and Talk to you later. MWAH! Bye!

11.7 10:03 p.m.
Hey! It's [CENSORED]. We're having bad luck on the whole getting a hold of each other thing this week...

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