Belated Funny Sentences in my Inbox ™Fiscus
I've been doing a bit of spring cleaning today and found this old post from Oct. 26, 2005, which I never got around to posting. So, since I had my handy dandy dusting cloth at hand, I gave these a once over to post them 10 months late. Let me set the scene of fall 2005: My computer at work had recently been stolen, Meh-gen was planning the Great St. Lucian Wedding Extravaganza, I was hiring my first intern, the BAWS (Bored at Work Six/Seven) was in full effect, and the following image was circulating again. You know you'll never live the FARC Spotlights down, Jason.

I know, everyone has been calling me sacrilegious because I don't read the Potter books. I went to dinner with a bunch of people last month, right after the book came out, and the response to, "I've never read any of them," was as if I'd just said, "I cheated on my boyfriend with my aunt's dog."

He says he just wanted Hugo Chávez "taken out," not "assassinated." Next he'll qualify "taken out" with "to a nice dinner, with drinks beforehand. Then to a show, maybe Cheesecake Factory afterward if there's time."

I could be placated with cheesecake. It would be a good last meal.

Maybe if you would've worn deoderant your computer wouldn't have left you. Like a bad habit.

I remember I once told S@rah M@gill there was a tornado warning before the sirens went off. She sort of thought I was crazy. She probably still does.

Our senior copy editor claims his tombstone should read, "InDesign has unexpectedly quit."

No, for real: like, are you going to be able to, like, do your job? Will you have to just sit around the office and do crosswords until they get you another one? Can I come over & help "investigate"?

Time flies when you're jumping out of airplanes!!

Have lots to tell about Quin, and I’m going to be a Nana again the end of February----Kim and Matt are excited and Quin wants an elephant instead of a brother or sister!!

Ah, to have "cable." I used to watch VH1 from the treadmills in our so-called "fitness center," but then someone ganked the TV. So instead of buying another $50 TV, the management turned all the treadmills to face the window.

Is suicide by pastry a variation of death by chocolate?

An "acquaintance" who will go unnamed -- we'll call him P@n Durschw!tz -- once thought that Nelly Furtado was merely Nelly's full name.

Contrary to my better beliefs in the world/life/etc, some people are generally disfunctional and incapable of handling an adult, working situation.

Sorry about the delay in my response, I was right in the middle of a deadline and two writers didn't come through with their articles (drag queens- such drama), so I had to scramble a bit.

My life will not be fulfilled until I am pointillized in the WSJ.

Sorry for the negativity ... when your livelihood depends on other people's mistakes, you develop a tendency to point them out.

Wedding plans are making my brain blow up.

And then I went back to the coffee house today for coffee and vegetarian chili. Not because I'm vegetarian. But because I'm hip like that. Though I think all the art students could smell the sell-out on me.

Why is there a picture of J@son Gr@h@m in women's underthings in my inbox?

For what it's worth, I think Tina Fey would do a dead-on portrayal of Myndi of FARC and Wausau, whose new last name I do not know.

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