It's That Time of Year Again
The time of year when I pretend to be a hard-core hiker and do some treking up Camelback once a week. Pictures from this morning are here.

*Click on the picture to see a (slightly) larger version. Not the best photo stitching, but it's cool.

There's nothing "urgent" in the way Urgent Care conducts its business
Or, Why I'm definitely unfit for mamahood

There's no "care" in Urgent Care, for that matter. Lesson learned: Do not handle glass around children. Murphy's Law clearly states that it will break. Don't worry, though, you'll clean it up...with your bare feet. (Note: no child was harmed in this story, only the individual entrusted with said child's safety.) I spent 2 hours at Urgent Care to see the only doc on duty only to have him numb my foot, dig around for a little bit, bandage it up and say, "Well, I'm not sure I got any glass out. You shouldn't submerge it in water for about two days, so I wouldn't swim, take a bath or shower for a while." Excuse me? I'm sure my coworkers would appreciate that. A couple hours later when the feeling returned to my foot I confirmed that indeed, he did not get the shard of glass out of my foot. Wah wah.

Alert the Authorities
I’m spending the weekend at yet another home, but this time I’m not just house-sitting; I’m also Rachel-sitting. Our neighbors who are moving to Albuquerque are spending this weekend house-hunting, and they thought things might go a little smoother without a 17-month-old child in tow. So I get to be Mama for the weekend. I mean a true diaper-bag-toting, car-seat-driving, stroller-pushing, wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-to-replace-the-binky Mama. Talk about birth control. When they asked me to help them out, I’d had plans for Saturday night, so I’ve already hired my first babysitter. (Thanks, Mom.) Tomorrow I plan to rise at 6:30 when Rachel usually wakes up, and we have a grand list of things to do, which includes visiting the baristas at the neighborhood coffee shop, going to the mall to run around the indoor playground (apparently that’s where all the cool moms go) and a swimming play date with Viviane. And that, my fun-loving friends is how I find myself “home” on a Friday night reading The Devil Wears Prada, eating hummus and crackers, and drinking milk from a sippy cup (I couldn’t find the adult glasses). It’s one more way I’m trying to be more like Dooce.

Roll Call
Just wondering, who are you? If you feel like it, leave a little note in the comments. I'm curious.

That's all. You mean you thought this was going to be an actual post? Tough.

A (Denver) Post Post



The above photo ran with this article in the Denver Post last week. Note the cute couple in the picture? That would be my Grammie and Grandie. This idyllic main street was the setting of many a summer where I spent time chasing cousins and shucking sweet corn. Yum.

Belated Funny Sentences in my Inbox ™Fiscus
I've been doing a bit of spring cleaning today and found this old post from Oct. 26, 2005, which I never got around to posting. So, since I had my handy dandy dusting cloth at hand, I gave these a once over to post them 10 months late. Let me set the scene of fall 2005: My computer at work had recently been stolen, Meh-gen was planning the Great St. Lucian Wedding Extravaganza, I was hiring my first intern, the BAWS (Bored at Work Six/Seven) was in full effect, and the following image was circulating again. You know you'll never live the FARC Spotlights down, Jason.



I know, everyone has been calling me sacrilegious because I don't read the Potter books. I went to dinner with a bunch of people last month, right after the book came out, and the response to, "I've never read any of them," was as if I'd just said, "I cheated on my boyfriend with my aunt's dog."

He says he just wanted Hugo Chávez "taken out," not "assassinated." Next he'll qualify "taken out" with "to a nice dinner, with drinks beforehand. Then to a show, maybe Cheesecake Factory afterward if there's time."

I could be placated with cheesecake. It would be a good last meal.

Maybe if you would've worn deoderant your computer wouldn't have left you. Like a bad habit.

I remember I once told S@rah M@gill there was a tornado warning before the sirens went off. She sort of thought I was crazy. She probably still does.

Our senior copy editor claims his tombstone should read, "InDesign has unexpectedly quit."

No, for real: like, are you going to be able to, like, do your job? Will you have to just sit around the office and do crosswords until they get you another one? Can I come over & help "investigate"?

Time flies when you're jumping out of airplanes!!

Have lots to tell about Quin, and I’m going to be a Nana again the end of February----Kim and Matt are excited and Quin wants an elephant instead of a brother or sister!!

Ah, to have "cable." I used to watch VH1 from the treadmills in our so-called "fitness center," but then someone ganked the TV. So instead of buying another $50 TV, the management turned all the treadmills to face the window.

Is suicide by pastry a variation of death by chocolate?

An "acquaintance" who will go unnamed -- we'll call him P@n Durschw!tz -- once thought that Nelly Furtado was merely Nelly's full name.

Contrary to my better beliefs in the world/life/etc, some people are generally disfunctional and incapable of handling an adult, working situation.

Sorry about the delay in my response, I was right in the middle of a deadline and two writers didn't come through with their articles (drag queens- such drama), so I had to scramble a bit.

My life will not be fulfilled until I am pointillized in the WSJ.

Sorry for the negativity ... when your livelihood depends on other people's mistakes, you develop a tendency to point them out.

Wedding plans are making my brain blow up.

And then I went back to the coffee house today for coffee and vegetarian chili. Not because I'm vegetarian. But because I'm hip like that. Though I think all the art students could smell the sell-out on me.

Why is there a picture of J@son Gr@h@m in women's underthings in my inbox?

For what it's worth, I think Tina Fey would do a dead-on portrayal of Myndi of FARC and Wausau, whose new last name I do not know.

Allow me to repeat myself
You might have received the following email from me. If so, no need to read any further. If not, please continue:

So, here's the deal: Monday Night Football is just three and a half weeks away, and the local Phoenix Mizzou Alum club has a scholarship fundraiser that gives you a chance each week to win $50 depending on the outcome of the Monday Night Football games. There's no need for skill, in-depth knowledge of pro football teams and players, or even for you to follow the game. You don't even have to like football! Basically, for only $20 you buy a numbered booklet, and each week a winner is determined based on the score of Monday's football game. It's totally random, no number has a higher chance of winning over the others, and you have the same chance each week. And once you make your donation to the scholarship fund, you don't even need to watch the games. If you win -- poof! a $50 check arrives in your mailbox. Just ask my friend Pat, he won last year. Weekly emails congratulating the winners are sent by our club president, Jill. The money raised goes 100% toward scholarships for local students to attend Mizzou.

Let me know if you're interested, I'll send you a booklet with all the games and the info you need to know, and I'll email you info about whom to make the check out to and where to send it, etc. And if you need any more motivation, know that I made the booklets this year and had to create them in Microsoft Word, which is, well, quite the challenge to put it mildly. I only have a few books left to sell, so please let me know soon if you'd like to participate.

Of course, I can't just ask for your money, so I'm going to share a fun little video I made of our puppy, Bandit, showing his team spirit:

In honor of National Underwear Day...
This weekend I spent $100 at Victoria's Secret, and all I came out with were six pairs of their cheapest underwear and two of their cheaper bras. And one of the pairs of undies was free! AND I got $10 off one of the bras! I understand paying for quality but spending $30 on three pairs of panties* just seems frivilous to me. (I went for the 5 for $25 deal.) I can get my hair cut for $30, and a hell of a lot more people see my hair than my underwear (I get more compliments, too). So I returned one of the bras and bought a cute pair of gaucho capris at Ann Taylor Loft, which were marked from $40+ down to $19. See this—this is why I could never really make it in Snottsdale.

*And that's the deal! Individual pairs of knickers were upwards of $12.50! Ridiculous!!!

If you weren't able to watch these earlier this weekend, the bug has been fixed (I hope!). I've found YouTube to be a greater challenge to work with than it's talked up to be to upload videos. Has anyone else found this?

Hello, Cute
Just you wait until I have my own kids. This blog will be overrun with pictures of edible baby feet and videos of cuddly moments.


Viviane, the young virtuoso.


"Puppy. Hi." I think Viviane has been attending puppy training classes, too. Note that she rolls Bandit's toy rather than throwing it, and she says, "Roll" right before she does it, too. This is because she's been getting in trouble for throwing things. (Sorry about the sound being off. I think something got slightly corrupted when I uploaded the video, because it's not like that on my computer.)


My poor cell phone will never be the same again. This is totally a testament to how many mannerisms little kids pick up from their parents. Note the hands-free talking. And speaking about throwing things, I edited out the part where she chucks the cell at the coffee table. For clarification's sake: "Honey" is grandma's name.

Selling out
I'm drinking a tall mocha from Starbucks this morning. And I'm really liking it. I'm sorry, little indie coffee shops that I love so much!