Terra Incognita

funny sentences in my inbox
This should erase any doubt about my geekiness, if there was (were? were.) any left after the Pat bobblehead.

Body. Sore. In. Many. Places. Owww.

Monsignor Chet, the pastor at my church, says that Christians "need a Bible in one hand, and a newspaper in the other." I let out a little giggle every time he says that.

My dress took up almost the entire living room. I felt like a poofball, but every said I looked pretty.

but i still really like my job so long as jobs are things we need to have.

And when your coworkers laugh at you, tell them to go eff themselves and that you mean it in the most Christian way possible.

I had five Red Bulls and one mocha. One Red Bull, of course, is the the caffeine equivalent of three 12-oz sodas. My heart was jumping like Bush cabinet members.

Kind of funny: I was ashed on Wednesday, obviously, and got plenty of looks but no remarks. Then Thursday and today, all kinds of people have come up to me in the newsroom, talking about how they went to Catholic church as a kid and blah blah blah, etc. It's like they were afraid to talk to me when I actually had the ashes.

I'm not just saying this so as to have more funny sentences in your inbox.

So...does Clark know how awesome his voice is?

so I LOVED New York. Not as much as I love London though...Let's just get that out there. The subway is harder to figure out than the tube. They have those express trains and you have to look up and the bottom of the map to see what trains are express and which ones are local (you know what I'm talking about). Learned that one the hard way...

I ate ramen noodles today and felt a little bit like an american!

I think it would be fun to be a blowhard who has nothing to do except look for errors in the newspapers. Unless that means you're paid to be a blowhard who reads the paper for errors, in which case you're a copy editor.

When the US Postal Service uses [Comic Sans], that's when it's inexcusable.

At the beginning of the night she was telling us she thought it was admirable to wait for marriage to kiss someone. Two Coronas later she's making out with a little Asian guy and flashing him.

I noticed that Desperate Housewives was pre-empted last night. I hope you're coping OK.

And of course, the design is amazing. "Your" so creative. You should, like, design for a magazine or something.

sorry that I still use you as my advisor. Jill sucks.

Hope production's over soon, and that you don't kill anyone.

And is it such a bad thing to read the stylebook for fun? Just asking, not that I'd know from personal experience. Errrr.

I know how tough it is to come to London on the dollar, and I want you to save your money for important things, like H & M.

I'm doing slot on the day the pope will most likely die. Less than cute, but I'm morbidly excited about it.

i got to the airport almost 3 hours before my flight so i sat upright in uncomfortable plastic chairs staring at a tv screen from Dior show anorexic models in bad outfits prancing up and down a runway while I fought waves of nausea from saturday night's excesses.

While I love you, and I love that you were born, so I must love your birthday, April 15 is kinda sorta Satanic.

Puis-tu m'envoyer une carte de poste de France, s'il te plaît? Je serai ton meilleur ami.

First, the dancing cowboy. Now, the Shakespeare's parking lot guy. Is no perennially profiled Columbian safe from death's icy grip? Somebody may want to check up on Henry Lane.

today will be a fun day for me - i'm training to host sex toy parties for my friend who owns a sex toy company (called the traveling tickle trunk - ha ha ha).