Terra Incognita

funny sentences in my inbox
These have been stacking up (as you can tell by the political references). Enjoy. Can you spot yourself? No? Then send me funny emails.

The republican convention makes me laugh, then cringe. I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger? The two dumb-as-rocks daughters? How comedic can you get?

Say "jack-o'-lantern" in an Irish brogue. Doesn't it sound cute?

You're getting so grown up... [insert tears and sniffling, posing for first-day-of-school picture].

Both candidates made me queasy so I abstained from my constitutional responsibilities this year and didn't vote. I know I
know, how irresponsible of me. I guess you could say I was stuck between "Iraq and a hard place."

My dad comes this week. I love when parents come to visit - I can't wait to go to the grocery store.

Strange how a new city becomes so domesticated -- the thrill of being in London often goes to the wayside as tasks build and responsibilities draw out. It's like we're growing up, or something. Whatever. That sucks.

Only in your* dreams are we sharing underwear.

there's also sunspots in the camera, which i think are cool but others might disagree on that. (i also don't know how to fix that, so i prefer to pretend it's chic).

additive color theory forever! you rock, rock!

I wish it were modesty. I mean, let's face it, I think I'm pretty great. =)

I just got in a debate with my EP over how dumb he is. The answer: VERY DUMB and bad at math. And HE had the nerve to get an attitude.

And what a great - and one-of-a-kind - piece about traveling being a man versus a woman! It made me think of myself (not the transvestite part) because I took a gondola ride alone (and the article said women hardly ever do that)! The gondolista I had kept asking me if I was sad. WTF??

After all, Jesus told us to "render unto Caesar" which includes voting, and when we fail to do as He commanded, we are, by definition, sinning.

Were I not pro-getting some, I'd have buttons made up for Celibacy Day.

Obviously you're not an ACTUAL Catholic, because if you were, you would just give in, and THEN say the Hail Marys and Our Fathers.

This stems from my random philosophy that I rarely blog about "personal" stuff. I mean, everything is personal because it's my opinion, but it's not PERSONAL, you know? (Gmail seriously needs some italics and bolds.)

Do other people at the MOian sleep together? weird. Well, it's back to my cross cultural journalism paper and studying for political science--don't be jealous.

I won't even BEGIN with what M!ke Fuhlh@ge or Ray Murr@y have said about their pasts. Eeeeeeeeeeek

With seven charter revision questions on my own ballot, I'm looking forward to standing in line for HOURS. Maybe I'll take up knitting.

she tells me that all the sex she was telling us about was with Barton. He of course beamed. I of course tried to not vomit.

There's something about swearing in opera form that is just irresistably hilarious. It was completely innapropriate and totally blasphemous, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Be like, dude. We're in this for our pals. We don't want strangers. We're clique-ish that way.

now i've been here for a week, and most of my post-departum depression has been cured by belle & sebastian and moderate alcohol consumption. i miss ragtag and 9th street video (actually, i cried a few days ago because the video store around the corner has neither a sundance shelf NOR cute employees--i'm serious) and, strangely, vox.

im now working for KDRV ABC Channel 12 in Medford, Oregon. ive changed up my political anecdotes for crunchy granola and hikes. well not really...but i do like it, simply for the fact that its SO different from DC that everything is novel.

Ooh! Webster's New World College, Fourth Ed.

For those of you still at the MOian, an "ad," short for "advertisement," is when a business pays the newspaper for space to print promotional material. Newspapers use ads to make "revenue."

once she wrote me an email titled "i ate a vitamin" because she thought i would be proud of her.

I blame my hour trek to work, in which I stick my nose firmly inside a novel and come out oozing with inspiration.

You** are no match for my iron-clad chastity belt which will be firmly attached to my sister upon her arrival at Sky Harbor.

I'm off work -- you're only just started. Then again, I worked while you slept. Now you'll work when I sleep! Mu-ha-ha!

I demand a credit and full consulting fee, of course.

*Not me, mind you.
**Again, not me.