Terra Incognita

preface
So, I'm really trying not to bore everyone by talking about London non-stop in my daily conversations. Instead, I'm going to bore you in my blog. Treating this Leaky Cauldron like the personal diary it is not, I'm just going to ramble a bit about the thoughts floating around in my head today. Sorry if they're not coherent.

thoughts...
I'm jealous of a certain roommate and close friend. I know it's petty of me to compare, but why don't I feel as changed as they do? I mean, studying abroad is supposed to radically alter your thinking, broaden your horizons about political structures and social constructs, right? And yet I'm just not feeling it. I wanted London to be...I don't know...a turning point in my life? I wanted come back to people saying, "Wow! You look so worldly!" or "Did you leave a little America behind in exchange for all the Great Britain you brought back?" And yet all people notice are the shoes. (Which I love, by the way.) Maybe I just changed in my fashion outlook. I mean, I do own a pair of knee-high brown "leather" boots now, and I know the difference between Louis Vuitton and Burberry. But that's just seems so superficial, compared to all that stretched Megan this past semester in Singapore and all that is still stretching Sarah as she gallivants across the whole of the European continent by herself. I'm sure it'll take a while for me to really realize all that affected me in my four months gone. To tell you the truth, though, I almost feel the same way I would leaving camp after the summer. You know, all wistful about the memories and the friendships I'd made. Somehow the fact that I can equate four months of Europe to a couple weeks of mid-Missouri's outdoors (beautiful as they are) just makes me feel like I didn't give the continent my all.

trying to be positive
Maybe I need to make a list of ways in which I feel changed. That might help my outlook. Here's my feeble attempt at trying to feel transformed:
-I want to travel more. That's a given. Maybe I'll travel to Singapore. :)
-I like the BBC.
-And tea.
Those two make me feel snooty. You know, only arrogant dorks in America like the Beeb and tea. (At least I don't drink it with my pinky in the air, like some people I know *coughMegCl0hertycough*) :)
-I know the difference between the Guardian, the Sun and the Daily Mail...and what stereotypes an author implies when he portrays a character reading one of those newspapers.
-My newly acquired fashion knowledge. I guess there's a certain positive in knowing brand names if you're going to be working in a business that promotes brand names.
-I like wine. But that was bound to happen over here after my 21st anyways. At least I can say I learned to like wine in Rome.
-I have a greater appreciation for all things Renaissance and Impressionistic. I knew about art before; now, after seeing ART, I love it.
-I have re-acquired my love of reading. Commuting to work on the Tube every day, twenty minutes there, twenty minutes back, plus countless train, coach and plane rides, gave me ample time to devour books. And they weren't text books! Fortunately, I have time and a hammock this summer to indulge my voracious appetite for books.
-I know I want to work in magazines. My internship secured that. I can't pass a magazine rack at Schnucks or Dillons without being drawn, magnetized, really, toward it. Before I left, I thought I wanted to do journalism. I was pretty sure I wanted to design. But my months at Wedding and Home convinced me of it. I got excited watching Sally hang up the test covers. And I'd wistfully watch Caroline piece together department pages.
Maybe that's the most important way in which I've changed. I know that the direction I'm heading is the best one for doing what I want to do.

And I know I had a good time. Isn't that a bit important, too?