Not-so-rapid transit

I did a bit of a social experiment yesterday. I recently discovered a local bus route that goes directly from my neighborhood up to an intersection right by my former employer. To think that I could have been using public transportation the whole time I worked there! Instead of falling asleep at the wheel driving 50 minutes each way, I could have sipped my coffee while leisurely reading my morning paper (and doing a lot of quality people-watching).

Except.

I tried the route yesterday. In non-rush-hour traffic, it took more than 2 hours – TWO HOURS – to get there. That distance is equal to a Sunday morning paper, including the Classifieds. Public transportation in Phoenix is a disgrace.

What I've Learned, 2007

I've decided to do this year's installment of "What I've Learned" (an idea ripped from the pages of Esquire) by quoting past posts on Terra Incognita. You can read previous editions of What I've Learned here and here.

Man I miss Show and Tell. 01.02.07

It's hard to read subtitles when you're giggling. 02.19.07

To these children [in the movie Jesus Camp] faith and fear are interchangeable. Their faith in God is one that is born out of fear. And that saddens me, because the God I know and the God I trust does not rely on fear. While fear is great motivation, it tends to breed further fear. 04.16.07

If you bring the tuna down [into the Grand Canyon], eat it all, otherwise you'll smell it all the way up and the scent infuses into your backpack so much that even 5 days later you find the dog deliriously licking the inside of your pack. 06.26.07

From now on, I know to carry everything that documents my travel plans when passing through Customs. I'm just thankful that I learned this when entering a country I'm familiar with, and not, say, Vietnam. 07.07.07

It's utterly fantastic to enter a city knowing not a single soul, only to be pubbing a day later with what feels like a contingent from the U.N. 07.20.07

Americans are not the only "ugly" tourists. We get a bad rap, and some tourists give good reason for that reputation, but I've seen just as many "ugly" tourists from all sorts of countries. 08.06.07

I travel quite differently while in a group. It's nice to not have to worry about the details like where I'm staying for the night or how to navigate my way to the train station, but I've found I've become less aware of my surroundings. 08.16.07

It's strange, this feeling of great wealth -- empowering and yet burdensome. I know that my patronage of someone's shop or cafe really makes a difference, which makes me feel good -- I like knowing that what I spend helps feed a family. But it becomes a weighty decision to choose a restaurant for dinner or a stall to buy a souvenir from. 09.13.07

While standing next to an American bunker on top of a hill over looking the Perfume River on the outskirts of Hue, I realized why the Americans lost the Vietnam War: There is no way Americans are suited for the heat and humidity of Vietnam without the luxury of being able to duck into some air con. 09.13.07

I believe it's my inherited responsibility to foster good relations with our former enemies. 09.13.07

I love Vietnam for its unapologetic differences. 09.13.07

I have nearly mastered another art: that of using the squat toilet. Mostly I have learned to carry TP and hand sanitizer in my bag at all times. 09.18.07

Call me weird, but I started missing the chore of lugging my backpack through subways and side streets. It made the arrival at the hotel seem a little less like a major success when I didn't have to exert much effort. 11.16.07

One of the big lessons for me was to see how important culture was to religious experiences. How can I chastise or challenge someone on their belief structure if that's the cultural structure they know and trust? 11.26.07

I've found that I pack way more for a week of domestic travel – or even a week of house-sitting in my own town – than I packed for 3 months of trekking around the globe. 12.19.07

Makin' it great in 2008

We used to have somewhat of a tradition of eating cheese fondue to ring in the new year. We brought it back this year. Yum! I made it through dinner without dropping anything in the cheese. I'm hoping this bodes well for the new year.

Christmas Eve Morn Mourning

RIP Otis

I'm doing double-duty on house-sitting this week, and this morning I discovered Otis had died during the night. He was old and diabetic. Brooke had joked for years that there'd be no hard feelings if I killed their cats while they were out of town. But all the joking didn't make discovering him any easier. I'm one of those lucky people whom Death hasn't touched much at all in my 25 years. But if this is how I react to my cousin's cat, I can only imagine the flood of tears when Death hits closer.

Funny Sentences in My Inbox, version 11

Wow. It's been a year since my last installment of Funny Sentences. Enjoy!

Busch is not beer. What we had at Gordon Biersch? THAT is beer. Please do not confuse the two again - it will only cause you pain.

I'm leaving soon, too. I have chills, and I really don't need to get sick. There are germs floating around all over this place. I feel like I can see them.

Me: I didn't realize it was so cold last night until I went to the grocery store in just a hoodie!
Him: Just a hoodie? Were your legs cold?
This was in front of my boss, no less. My boss! So, of course, men being visual creatures, there was this moment of silence where I know every male coworker in earshot (there were about three) were picturing me pantless. God.

Sunday: Went to the naked hot springs in Ouray with [name withheld], where we ran into my coworker WHO SAW ME NAKED, and vice-versa. As I write this, he is mere cubicles away from me, working on outdoors stories. It's awkward.

That sounds fun, and that day is good for me. Are we limited to bringing our own roommates and boyfriends or could I bring my roommate's boyfriend? Or maybe my roommate's boyfriend's roommate?

Judging from what my parents say about their work experiences, I've had an unusually lucky streak with people here. There are only a few people I want to kill on a daily basis, which is a pretty low ratio of annoying-to-awesome.

is Mr. Scratchy Throat still spending the evenings w/you? i kicked him out of my house a couple of weeks ago. he wasn't paying rent or utilities.

"She's had more husbands than I've had tacos."

As you probably know already, I am leaving for Tanzania in a few days to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

How can these headlines be so great if they're not referencing mid-90s songs that 85% of the newspaper reading public won't get?

Agreed. When you get an award for a headline making a Chumbawamba reference, get back to us. (realizing as I type this that [name withheld] may very well have done a hed with a "But they get up again" reference at some point)

If I'd taken a picture every time I'd seen Comic Sans yesterday (and most days in NYC), I'd have a full picture card.

It's that time of year again. Time for me to pretend I've done a better job of staying in touch, so it's not awkward when I ask for a charitable donation.

And so I should clarify: I am not selling a dildo. To the people on the listserv or to anyone else.

My boss almost used Comic Sans today - to describe a report I work on! Thankfully I was allowed to block him off before it was sent out. The embarrassment alone might have caused me to quit.

Well, it's back to normal Dutch life. Yesterday Jim saw the Queen, (who came to his building to officially open it), this afternoon Sterling is playing at the home of a Polish friend from his class, and I was told by the doctor this morning that 7 weeks to get over a deep chest cough wasn't that long, give it another couple weeks. When I told my next door neighbor this she was surprised he didn't tell me to sleep with an onion next to my head, their usual advise. Maybe I'll try it.

And if you do get this job, you'll have to write a memoir or an article or at least a J-school lecture called "How a Penis Joke Jumpstarted My Career."

Erica: nice to meet you! (shaking hands, don’t want to freak you Americans out with immediate kisses).

If you don't know Erica, it doesn't matter. By that time I hope to have her innebriated enough that she'll pretend to know you.

this week i'm enjoying the lack of estrogen in my life.

Hey, while you're there, can you stop by the second floor and see if you can find Jason and I's livers, dignities, and self-respects? You should find them in the 210 closet in a pool of cheap liquors, splashing and playing like a kiddie pool of defective clone children.

He's moving to China to teach English. Not that he knows Chinese. Or that his English has ever been stellar.

Everything that sucks at the time becomes a funny story later. Yeah. I think I want that on my tombstone.

Plus, did you see when scrolling down on that Amazon listing that there's a comment entry entitled "God Does Not Have A Penis". Now THAT is something we should be reading about. ;)

everything was great until he dropped that bombshell, and then I shrank away like a wool sweater on "tumble dry low."

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to be of assistance in the job hunt. Even if it means calling you to say, “At least you have your legs.” Or I can tell you silly jokes. Or pretend to be JFK.

Traveling Not-So-Light

I've found that I pack way more for a week of domestic travel – or even a week of house-sitting in my own town – than I packed for 3 months of trekking around the globe.

Go figure.

Anniversary "Home"coming

Grandie had been in the hospital for over a week, including several days in ICU. Yesterday, the morning of his 57th wedding anniversary, the doctor gave the news that he could be released into a rehab facility. Grammie and I met him at the hospital, picked up his belongings and got to Centre Avenue Rehab to set up his new "home" and to great him when he got there.

Here fishy, fishy

I'm visiting my grandparents in Ft. Collins, Colo., while my grandfather is in the hospital. The other day when we stopped in at the hospital, I found a friend in the waiting room. (See above photo.)

Grandie's doing lots better and today was moved to a rehab facility, which was a great way to celebrate his and Grammie's anniversary. Today marks their 57th year of marriage!

Inspired: Downsizing my closet

I'm trying to learn to do with less

At about week 11 I was ready to toss my 20-pound backpack full of clothes in the Andaman Sea. I was sick of rotating the same 6 tank tops, 4 t-shirts, 2 skirts, dress and 2 pairs of jeans/shorts. Every clothes store I stepped into called its siren song and it became increasingly difficult to resist (hence, one of the reasons I went a little overboard in the tailor shops in Vietnam). The thought of returning to a closet and dresser full of clothes just begging me to wear them nearly made me giddy.

And yet.

When faced with that over-flowing closet of fresh clothing, I tend to reach for what feels natural: my handy jeans, one of the 6 tanks, and (if there's a chill in the Arizona air) my comfy, trusty, stripped sweater. [Exhibit A: See above.] If I'm trying to make a fashion statement, I think it's a broken record.

I can't seem to get over that desire to accumulate more, though. The winter sales are so intoxicating, it's easy to forget the clothes I already have when something new and pretty flashes in my line of vision. I've already discarded two garbage bags of clothes I knew I wasn't going to wear anymore (that's like dumping two packs into the Andaman Sea!), but the lesson I need to internalize is to accumulate only what I need and will actually use.

The broken record I need to start playing for myself is, "I do not need a new sweater...I do not need a new sweater..."

Alright, already

Some of you have already discovered the RSS link on the right that goes to my pictures from this year's Thanksgiving festivities. I didn't want to overwhelm you with tons of pictures, so I thought I'd go an album at a time. There'll be another album posted in a couple days. And then I'll probably be going through a dry spell. It's time for the camera to get cleaned from all the adventures.

Here are a few highlights from Thanksgiving.


The place settings at Brooke's


Chris carves the bird


Olivia gets a taste of Viviane's ladybug galoshes


Brooke and Ally share a funny story